no title :)

Suddenly realized that it has been awfully long since I wrote anything. It has actually been really long that any thought compelling enough entered my mind and that I picked up my laptop and started typing. No doubt the past few months have been a little rough and that my mind has been a little unstable. Hundreds of thoughts would have entered and exited my mind during this period but I never tried to hold on to any of them for long enough to build it into something concrete. But then who said I could write only when I had a real heavy philosophy to boast of? I never signed on this scribbling pad in the cyber space with a promise that each post of mine has to have some substance. Its purpose was just to preserve the ripples that form in my mind… so that is exactly what I am doing right now.

Sometimes we forget the real purpose of things and attach more than necessary importance to trivialities. Things that were introduced for pleasure become compulsion, things that were for recreation become competition… and then we start crying that life isn’t fun anymore.

Life is simple, why not keep it that way and try being a little impulsive at times even if the outcome is a stupid concoction of words that runs across three paragraphs but still says nothing :)

3 more lectures, 3 end-term examinations and a presentation- that is all that remains of my 2-year MBA course. All this while, there have been lectures and more lectures, presentations, assignments, interviews, internship, more lectures, more… But I am no fan of the hour and a half long monologues in the class, and I hate doing assignments, so logically I should be excited. But it somehow is not the case.

There have been a few other things as well- the night outs, long useless chats, leg pulling and fighting over stupid issues, singing at 4 in the morning, trying to learn guitar today, flute tomorrow, PJs that make no sense at all, fighting sleep just for another trip to Athika, the same not-so-good tea, the dawn-breaks and fruitless attempts to figure out the reason for keeping up so late, long bike rides at arbit hours, sleeping all through the day, waking each other up and blabbering or listening to the same while doing that, watching movies or sitcoms and making the best use of the newly-learnt jargons, discussing deep philosophies, sharing deepest hidden feelings… the list seems to have no end. Do I even need to say what I will remember IIMB for?

My stomach giving me the same restless feeling again… I don’t know why my stomach starts churning at such thoughts…

Never before could i fathom the effect that putting thoughts into words gives you. Amusing it is that when the heart gets heavy, when the world looks dark, this black-and-white sight of an unmindful scribbling can help you get back your colors!!!

What if ???!!!!!

One question which in its two words holds the power of all th possible imaginations, dreams, curiosity... Just two words but they clearly say that the world that we see is not all... there is a wider, a deeper world full of possibilities. But its gates would open only when we start chanting these words "What if ???"

isn't it all worth it???

First a disclaimer- the thought is not entirely my own… but the moment I read this, it pulled some string somewhere and these words started flowing. As usual I am in no mood to rein them in, so writing this.

We often are afraid to fall in love, we think that these attachments bring with them a lot of sorrow, tears and heartache; at least I have always felt so. And so I believed, it is better to keep a safe distance from any emotion of this sort. But a simple book questioned this belief of mine. Won’t give the verbatim thing, but my version of the same (you might want to read the book yourself).

Suppose I meet a stranger. I like him and for once ask this over-protective brain of mine to shut up, and fall in love with him. He, a person with twinkling eyes which remind me of a starry night. We spend some wonderful time together, with me smiling every time I look into his eyes. And then one day, we have to part. It is tough, I feel devastated; I cry and feel that not letting me get into this would have been the wiser thing to do. And then I notice something. From then on, every night when the stars shine, to the whole world they are just the shiny objects in the sky. But for me they are the eyes which make my heart skip a beat. As time passes, the pain subsides and the stars remind me of the time when I thought I was the happiest person on earth. While to everyone else, they are insignificant objects far off in the sky; to me they bring a smile. Isn’t that something I should be thankful to the person about- for giving me a new reason to smile?

True, love does bring tears, but isn’t it all worth it???

Btw, the book is titled "The Little Prince"

A beautiful mind…

Noticed someone and spent hours pondering over a question- does our mind play games to deceive us, or do we play games to deceive our mind?

He was always aloof, full of questions, searching for something. He had really strong likes and dislikes. Valued certain things, considered some completely useless. Suddenly I see him trying to change himself, doing things that are unlike him. Why, I wondered???!!!

A closer look revealed a complete different picture. I see him snapping all ties- ties which he now proclaims were unimportant. I try to fit the pieces of this puzzle together. If I know him even a little bit, I would say that if this breaking of bonds had no meaning, he would have never done this. The people involved might be insignificant, but the action does have a meaning.

Is he planning to end his search and involve himself in the more mundane events, or was he so haunted by his own questions that he is trying to shut them up, building a façade which appears more “normal”? What is he doing, trying to tell his mind that although he has easily snapped so many ties, he is not getting inside any closure; he is in fact now doing things which all others around him love doing.

Would his mind be so easily deceived? Does he realize that the outer shell that he has built still has some gaps from where his true self tries to peep out? Does he realize that the shell is just a make-believe cover to the complex being that is getting more complicated day-by-day? It will break some day and the person emerging would be even more difficult to handle than the one who exists today. Why is he running away from the reality?

But there is something else that worries me more. What if the shell never breaks? What if the façade becomes a fact? What if he loses himself trying to be one of the other so-called normal persons? I hope he doesn’t.

We are a brave people

We are a brave people. Try as hard as you can, we won’t be budged. Nine blasts in Bangalore, and you think that we will get panicked and our lives will come to a stand-still. No dear, we are strong.

How proud we are of this strength of ours. We keep saying these things, hearing these things. I remember listening to a reporter on TV after the Mumbai blasts that the brave city was still on its toes and what not.

But is it bravery or insensitivity? I agree that to get panic-stricken is not a solution, but is being unconcerned is? TV channels pouring news about blasts and we catch a glimpse of it while rushing for our next class. Someone got a little more engrossed and shouted “Oh shit, got late, will lose an attendance”. An attendance versus nine blasts in your neighborhood!
Are we brave, or are we just too detached from others। I am fine, my family, my friends all are fine- once I ensure that I get back to my daily chores. Could I have acted equally “courageously” had a friend of mine been one of the unlucky ones?

Oh yes, I know I have spent too long in thinking and writing this and have to work on a submission. After all I, too, am brave.